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When we are speaking about matters like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked regarding the best way to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for some time.

Getting physical is one thing which usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless of course one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is not comfortable with approaching a girl for a physical relationship, the the most important thing which a man can do to handle that is learn to observe and use gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder which you climb to reach the top. A few guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without ascending any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

A man who is not comfortable in this field ought to learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to make use of gradients on women.

Not every woman will begin at the same gradient. A few girls will begin with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and lastly to sexual relations. If a man tries to jump to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. However, you may lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her could be: getting to know you, talking about sexual topics indirectly (for instance commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you while you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, after which a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then take her up the gradients lightly. So long as you don't skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or gradually depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try speaking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.

Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely fine with the concept of getting physical with you. So you might like to make clear if you are dating or simply "chilling out."

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